I miss blogging, I do. So here I am again, after an entire summer plus some months. Hopefully I don't bore you and hopefully God will use what I am learning for others, but even if He doesn't, I will keep on keeping on with my blogging because it is fun and I seem to have lots on my mind to share again.
Sooooo...
I can't believe that it has been almost a month since I moved to Virginia. I love it here, but I am definitely missing home. It all happened so fast and I think that it is just beginning to settle in. So here is how it all happened in case you were curious or maybe you didn't even know that I moved. Basically, God told me to move and I moved. That is the short version. I honestly never imagined myself moving nine hours away from everything familiar.
Last summer after I got back from the Dominican Republic, God and I were talking and He asked me if I would be willing to give up everything and leave what I knew to go on an adventure with Him. At the time, I was like well...I don't know. I just got back from the DR, could be fun, but I still have a year left of school. I got done with school and was really set on finding a job in NY, near home. I didn't. I applied to a lot of jobs, but didn't even get an interview. At the end of September, my aunt told me about a job in Indiana near her and I was like okay, why not? I am just working at Tops and subbing and I am made for more. I really want a real job that I am passionate about going to. So I applied and had an interview. I went for it and decided that if I was willing to do that, why not apply to other jobs in other states...so I did. Not even a week later, I received a call from the assistant principal at my current school. I had a phone interview and then an in person interview all within a week of being asked for one. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this is where God wanted me. It was exciting and scary and new all at the same time and now that I have had time to process it, it is so good.
God is good. He knows what He is doing. Maybe I don't completely understand why I am so far away from everything so unfamiliar. But I do know that it has been so good. I have grown so much in the past 4 weeks. Through both my excitement and my loneliness and just starting my life, I am learning that the only constant in my life is God. Yes there are days when I wish that I was home with my family and with my friends and with all of my youth group teens. With people who I love and who really know me but God never change. Being all alone has done something amazing to strengthen my relationship with my Creator. He is all I have. I am all He wants. Every little bit. Being alone reinforces the importance of putting God absolute first and letting Him be everything to me. The most important relationship in my life is growing in ways I never thought it would or never thought it needed to. Letting Him provide and me just giving up complete control is so freeing. You should try it! I mean seriously, this might not seem too amazing to you, but it is a truth that is resonating within my soul right now...God did not even spare His only Son, so why would I think that He couldn't or wouldn't provide everything that I need in the moment that I need it most. News Flash...He WILL and He HAS!!!!!
Hopefully this all made sense and I didn't ramble on too long, but it has just been so long since my last post and it is good to be back!
Oh and check out this song!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eHg8s8M4no
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Disturb Me
Disturb me Lord when my dreams come true only because I dreamed too small.
Disturb me Lord when I arrive safely only because I sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb me Lord when the things I have gained cause me to lose my thirst for You.
Disturb me Lord when I've aquired success only to disturb my desire for excellence.
Disturb me Lord when I give up too soon and settle too far short of the goals You have set for my life.
~Sir Francis Drake
Disturb me Lord when I arrive safely only because I sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb me Lord when the things I have gained cause me to lose my thirst for You.
Disturb me Lord when I've aquired success only to disturb my desire for excellence.
Disturb me Lord when I give up too soon and settle too far short of the goals You have set for my life.
~Sir Francis Drake
Sunday, June 19, 2011
I am the branches
Yesterday I was reading John 15 and even though I have heard this passage many times before, I have never actually taken the time to really think about it. As I was reading, I was just thinking to myself how cool God is. How much He can do if only we give Him the room in our live to do so. Verses 1-3 say this “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you." I have so much room for improvement in my life. We all do. I think that a lot of times we begin to think that we are perfect just the way we are and that nothing about us needs to be changed. But we are wrong. God is the gardener of our hearts and our lives. We need Him to trim the parts of us that we no longer need and that are dead and not bearing fruit. We need Him to reveal to us the aspects of our lives that need changing so that we can bear the good fruit that He wants us to have. Maybe we think that it is an area that is perfectly fine, but really it isn't bringing the glory to God that He deserves and so He needs to prune us and get rid of that "branch" in our life. We need to let Him do that. If we don't let go of it, it is going to hold us back from doing the best work we possibly can for Jesus. I know that I don't always like change, but I am ready and willing to be changed by God into the woman that He wants me to be. How about you? Are you willing to be changed by God?
Verses 4-8 say "Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples." In order for us to reach our fullest potential, we need to remain in God. That doesn't mean just simply going to church and being a spectator. It means really seeking after God and what He wants for your life. It means spending time with Him praying and reading His Word. I often got in the habit of saying that I didn't have the time everyday. But I have been making the time recently and I see such a difference in my life. I see the fruit that I bear. I have realized that I really can do nothing if I do not remain in God. I don't want to be that useless, unfruitful branch that is thrown into the fire. I want to do great things for God. I want Him to use me in ways that I could never imagine and do things with my life that only He can do. I think that it is comforting to know that if I remain in Him, I can come boldly before the throne of grace and ask for anything and have it done. If I am in Him, I know that I will be asking for things that will bring Him that glory and the honor that are due to Him. This has nothing to do with me and my status and everything to do with God. So take the time and pick up your Bible and seek out God. Remain in Him. Don't walk away when things get hard. Trust that He knows what He is doing with your life and with your branches. Let Him produce the fruit in your life and see what will happen!
Verses 4-8 say "Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples." In order for us to reach our fullest potential, we need to remain in God. That doesn't mean just simply going to church and being a spectator. It means really seeking after God and what He wants for your life. It means spending time with Him praying and reading His Word. I often got in the habit of saying that I didn't have the time everyday. But I have been making the time recently and I see such a difference in my life. I see the fruit that I bear. I have realized that I really can do nothing if I do not remain in God. I don't want to be that useless, unfruitful branch that is thrown into the fire. I want to do great things for God. I want Him to use me in ways that I could never imagine and do things with my life that only He can do. I think that it is comforting to know that if I remain in Him, I can come boldly before the throne of grace and ask for anything and have it done. If I am in Him, I know that I will be asking for things that will bring Him that glory and the honor that are due to Him. This has nothing to do with me and my status and everything to do with God. So take the time and pick up your Bible and seek out God. Remain in Him. Don't walk away when things get hard. Trust that He knows what He is doing with your life and with your branches. Let Him produce the fruit in your life and see what will happen!
Friday, June 3, 2011
Life After Graduation
Life after graduation isn't all it's cracked up to be. I am not going to lie, I am going to miss college. Maybe not all the tests or having to go to classes, but I will miss it nonetheless. I know that come fall, I might be wishing that I had a class or two to attend. I am going to miss the late night deep conversations and the roommate sleepovers. I will miss sitting for hours in Garlock talking and having that be the only fun break for the day. I am going to miss always having someone to talk to or do something with. In fact, I already miss all of this. Don't get me wrong I love being home, but it isn't the same. I spent a lot of my first couple years at college wishing that time would go faster and that I could move on with real life and now I am hear and wishing for more time at the place and with the people where I spent four years growing and learning.
Since graduating, I have spent many of my days substitute teaching. I don't mind it, but I can't wait for my own classroom someday soon. I hate having a different schedule everyday and not knowing what is coming next. I like routine and schedule, but with subbing you kind of just have to go with the flow. I guess that is what I am learning right now. Just go with the flow. God has it all under control even when I don't. I don't have to have it all under control for that matter. I am not very good at giving up control. I don't like not know what I will be doing 3 months from now. Right now, there aren't a lot of job perspectives for me and I just want to move on. I know that God has a plan, but really believing that is the key. Knowing that maybe where I am heading is not necessarily what I had planned is scary, but I need to go with the flow and let God guide me in this next season of my life. I know that the place I need to be is right where God will put me. I just need to be open to letting Him have complete control and not question. God tells us not to worry, so I am not going to worry. I am going to trust that He has a plan. His plan is so much bigger and better than any plan that I could ever have. God has continually proven that He will provide for me. He continually brings up the phrase "you of little faith" to my mind. I have to ask myself where am I placing my faith. If I say that I have faith in God, I need to actually be able to let go of everything I am and give it up to God. I need to be willing to say here is my faith God and it is in you, not myself. Let me worry about today and work on glorifying God through everything I do. Let me be a light in the here and now and not worry about tomorrow. Let me trust that God is going to provide everything I could ever need.
Matthew 6:25-34
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Since graduating, I have spent many of my days substitute teaching. I don't mind it, but I can't wait for my own classroom someday soon. I hate having a different schedule everyday and not knowing what is coming next. I like routine and schedule, but with subbing you kind of just have to go with the flow. I guess that is what I am learning right now. Just go with the flow. God has it all under control even when I don't. I don't have to have it all under control for that matter. I am not very good at giving up control. I don't like not know what I will be doing 3 months from now. Right now, there aren't a lot of job perspectives for me and I just want to move on. I know that God has a plan, but really believing that is the key. Knowing that maybe where I am heading is not necessarily what I had planned is scary, but I need to go with the flow and let God guide me in this next season of my life. I know that the place I need to be is right where God will put me. I just need to be open to letting Him have complete control and not question. God tells us not to worry, so I am not going to worry. I am going to trust that He has a plan. His plan is so much bigger and better than any plan that I could ever have. God has continually proven that He will provide for me. He continually brings up the phrase "you of little faith" to my mind. I have to ask myself where am I placing my faith. If I say that I have faith in God, I need to actually be able to let go of everything I am and give it up to God. I need to be willing to say here is my faith God and it is in you, not myself. Let me worry about today and work on glorifying God through everything I do. Let me be a light in the here and now and not worry about tomorrow. Let me trust that God is going to provide everything I could ever need.
Matthew 6:25-34
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Friday, May 6, 2011
The Past 8 Weeks
To say that I have slacked at this whole blog thing is an understatement. It isn't that I haven't had things to say, because I have. I just haven't had the extra time to keep up with it. For those of you who like to harass me about being behind, this one is for you (Karissa). It may not be my best, but enjoy it nonetheless.
So what has been going on in my life for the past eight weeks?
I started and finished my second student teaching placement in middle school. I have learned so much about myself through this. I most definitely want to teach middle school. Middle schoolers are awesome. They have no problem telling you about their lives. Every. single. detail. of. every. minute. of. their. lives. They honestly think you need to know it all. Which is fine. I listened and they talked. They are also so incredibly honest. I don't think that they have filters yet for what is appropriate to say and what is not. It is true when they say that kids say the darnedest things. I loved getting to know my students on a personal level. Even though I had 85 students, I can honestly say that I knew something personal about around 85% of them. This is how I want it to be when I have a class of my own.
In addition to all of that, they think that you are the coolest person ever. They set out to impress you. They are so interested in the details of your life and like to provide a commentary. Apparently getting to work at Tops is awesome and there could be nothing better. I also found it amazing when I made connections with my students over random things. They knew that I spent part of my summer at an orphanage in the DR and I got talking to one of my students one day and found out that she was adopted from an orphanage in Brazil when she was 6. I loved hearing about her experiences before she was adopted.
Through this, I have learned the importance of really investing time into my students, even when I really don't feel like it or when I don't think it is working. They respect you so much more as a teacher when you do this. It was awesome and surprising to hear that I was different than any of the other student teachers they had this year. They said that I really cared about them and was open to answering questions about my life. They wanted to know what was so different about me compared to the other student teachers. I think that this is a testament to the work of God in my life. I would probably go crazy working with them if God hadn't given me a passion for teaching middle school and if He hadn't showed me how to love even the students that drive me nuts. It goes back to an earlier post where I referred to the song "What Love Really Means" by JJ Heller. I think that I really lived this out during this placement. It was sad to leave them! I will most definitely miss each and every one of them. I told them on the last day that I really believe they are all going to go great places in life and that I would miss them so much. I am hoping to be able to go back and visit them.
So the question you may be asking now is now what? What are you going to do now? I am graduating college tomorrow (more on that soon). I will go back to working at Tops, substitute teach, put all my energy into working with the youth group and looking for jobs. I am just going to take it one day at a time.
So what has been going on in my life for the past eight weeks?
I started and finished my second student teaching placement in middle school. I have learned so much about myself through this. I most definitely want to teach middle school. Middle schoolers are awesome. They have no problem telling you about their lives. Every. single. detail. of. every. minute. of. their. lives. They honestly think you need to know it all. Which is fine. I listened and they talked. They are also so incredibly honest. I don't think that they have filters yet for what is appropriate to say and what is not. It is true when they say that kids say the darnedest things. I loved getting to know my students on a personal level. Even though I had 85 students, I can honestly say that I knew something personal about around 85% of them. This is how I want it to be when I have a class of my own.
In addition to all of that, they think that you are the coolest person ever. They set out to impress you. They are so interested in the details of your life and like to provide a commentary. Apparently getting to work at Tops is awesome and there could be nothing better. I also found it amazing when I made connections with my students over random things. They knew that I spent part of my summer at an orphanage in the DR and I got talking to one of my students one day and found out that she was adopted from an orphanage in Brazil when she was 6. I loved hearing about her experiences before she was adopted.
Through this, I have learned the importance of really investing time into my students, even when I really don't feel like it or when I don't think it is working. They respect you so much more as a teacher when you do this. It was awesome and surprising to hear that I was different than any of the other student teachers they had this year. They said that I really cared about them and was open to answering questions about my life. They wanted to know what was so different about me compared to the other student teachers. I think that this is a testament to the work of God in my life. I would probably go crazy working with them if God hadn't given me a passion for teaching middle school and if He hadn't showed me how to love even the students that drive me nuts. It goes back to an earlier post where I referred to the song "What Love Really Means" by JJ Heller. I think that I really lived this out during this placement. It was sad to leave them! I will most definitely miss each and every one of them. I told them on the last day that I really believe they are all going to go great places in life and that I would miss them so much. I am hoping to be able to go back and visit them.
So the question you may be asking now is now what? What are you going to do now? I am graduating college tomorrow (more on that soon). I will go back to working at Tops, substitute teach, put all my energy into working with the youth group and looking for jobs. I am just going to take it one day at a time.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Isaiah 42:16
Last night I was driving home from Houghton College. I have never driven from Houghton to home. It has always been from Houghton to Roberts, so I had really no idea where I would be driving. I decided to stay until after it got dark, which was probably my first mistake (although well worth being able to have good conversations for a while longer). I had directions that were printed from Google maps and as I was looking at them I realized that I had to make a lot of turns onto side roads so I asked Janelle if there was a more direct way because I new without a shadow of a doubt that I would end up lost in the dark with all the really specific directions. So I got the most direct route from Janelle and I left. Well I got lost about 40 minutes into my drive. I forgot to make a turn and ended up on the wrong route, but I got myself back on track and in no time I was where I needed to be to make my turn. By this time, I had already ran over and killed a cat and a skunk, luckily missing the deer. I was stressed enough driving in the rain on unfamiliar back country roads in complete darkness, but getting lost just added to my stress and anxiety level. I had my GPS, but it wasn't giving me the most direct directions home. I called Janelle and my parents they got me back on track. I took route 98 and got to a place that I knew and got home even though my trip was 45 minutes longer than it should have been.
When I get lost, I stress. I hate the unknown. I hate being in the dark in an unfamiliar place. I was almost ready to cry. As I drove and just kept waiting for something that I knew and was familiar with and I couldn't help but think of one of my favorite verses...Isaiah 42:16. "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them." God was saying to me this is sort of like life. There are going to be times when you will have no idea where you are going, but I know where you are going. I will show you the way. I will go before you and guide you through the darkness of the unknown, you just have to be willing to trust Me. Don't look to yourself or others to give you all the directions you will need. Don't question the directions that I give you like you questioned the directions home. I know better than you and you are just going to get yourself lost and offtrack. You will get delayed the more you stop and question if this is the right way to go. Take time to seek direction from me, but don't stop once I have given it to you because I am already guiding you through the parts that are unknown and you are not alone.
Talk about a lesson from simply getting lost on the drive home.
When I get lost, I stress. I hate the unknown. I hate being in the dark in an unfamiliar place. I was almost ready to cry. As I drove and just kept waiting for something that I knew and was familiar with and I couldn't help but think of one of my favorite verses...Isaiah 42:16. "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them." God was saying to me this is sort of like life. There are going to be times when you will have no idea where you are going, but I know where you are going. I will show you the way. I will go before you and guide you through the darkness of the unknown, you just have to be willing to trust Me. Don't look to yourself or others to give you all the directions you will need. Don't question the directions that I give you like you questioned the directions home. I know better than you and you are just going to get yourself lost and offtrack. You will get delayed the more you stop and question if this is the right way to go. Take time to seek direction from me, but don't stop once I have given it to you because I am already guiding you through the parts that are unknown and you are not alone.
Talk about a lesson from simply getting lost on the drive home.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Where to begin...
It has been a crazy 8 weeks with student teaching. It has had its ups and its downs, but I am done with my first placement. Today was bittersweet, knowing that I get to start middle school on Monday while knowing that I will not see my high school students again. If you had asked me at the end of last week and the beginning of this week if I was sad to be leaving, my answer was probably a no. As the week progressed, I realized that I really am going to miss my students. They have caused me on multiple occassions to want to pull my hair out. Despite all the hassle they have given me, they are great kids. I was pretty much convinced that a good majority of the students I taught didn't like me for whatever reason. They were rude and disrespectful. They kept asking when their teacher was coming back to teach them and why I had to be there with them. I was almost beginning to ask myself if teaching was worth it. But this week when we announced that today was going to be my last day, many of them had looks on their faces that told me their dogs had just died or something.
Reality hit me. Kids are kids and you cannot always take what they have to say as complete truth. Maybe they were just trying to put up a front and not let me in. I had several good conversations with different students in the past couple of days. Many of them are still super concerned about my sprained ankle and they keep giving me advice about how to get better or lecture me if they think I am doing something to make it worse. They really do care about me, because I cared about them and their lives. One student asked me if I was sure that I wanted to be a teacher after having his class. He was telling me how mean they were to me, but he really liked me. Today instead of asking why I had to be their teacher, they were asking why I had to leave them and asking who would stay after school to help them with their work.
I think that I learned that you never know what impact you are making. Even if you are frustrated and don't know what else to do, it is probably worth it even if one kid is impacted. I love these kids and I want to see them do well. I just hope that all of me that I poured into their lives will produce hope and perserverence when things get tough for them. My last day was filled with lots of memories and laughs and I will not forget it.
Reality hit me. Kids are kids and you cannot always take what they have to say as complete truth. Maybe they were just trying to put up a front and not let me in. I had several good conversations with different students in the past couple of days. Many of them are still super concerned about my sprained ankle and they keep giving me advice about how to get better or lecture me if they think I am doing something to make it worse. They really do care about me, because I cared about them and their lives. One student asked me if I was sure that I wanted to be a teacher after having his class. He was telling me how mean they were to me, but he really liked me. Today instead of asking why I had to be their teacher, they were asking why I had to leave them and asking who would stay after school to help them with their work.
I think that I learned that you never know what impact you are making. Even if you are frustrated and don't know what else to do, it is probably worth it even if one kid is impacted. I love these kids and I want to see them do well. I just hope that all of me that I poured into their lives will produce hope and perserverence when things get tough for them. My last day was filled with lots of memories and laughs and I will not forget it.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Just one of those days...
Do you ever just have one of those days where all you want to do is crawl back to your bed because of how horrible it was? That pretty much defined my existence last week. I took over for the special education class that I am teaching and nothing seemed to go right. The kids do not behave and do not listen. I am not a mean person and my rules aren't that strict and well that seemed to be a problem. All week I exhausted myself telling them do this and don't do that. They were having a hard time adjusting to me and don't think that I am the real teacher. I was just getting by each day, coming home so emotionally exhausted that I had nothing left to give anyone. Thursday I hit my breaking point. My supervisor came to observe me and my students were so bad. They were up and down, talking over top of me throwing things at each other and my supervisor. By the end I was so frustrated and when I sat down to talk to my supervisor, I just started crying. I felt so bad because she thought it was her fault for giving me criticism, but it wasn't. I liked all of the advice she gave me and am using it now. I was just exhausted. On the way home, I heard the song Stronger by Mandisa. The chorus goes like this...
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger
This put a smile on my face, because I am being thrown into a classroom to practice everything I have learned over the past 3 and a half years and I am a work in progress. Each day I am learning new things that are making me stronger as a person and as a teacher.
I was so tired all week that I neglected to spend time with God. I made excuses that I was just too tired and didn't have enough time. On the way home I was reminded by the gorgeous sunset that the day was ending and there was nothing I could do to change the day. I was also reminded on Thursday night that I just needed to take time to rest in God's presence and be renewed. I am no good to my students when I am completely exhausted. God is so good and He meets you right where you are at. Friday morning I got up sort of dreading the school day and having to go in to my class and yell at them but as I was driving to school, I saw the most incredible sunrise. The sun was bright orange and the sky was green and pink. I wish that I had taken pictures so you could see. God knows me well. He knows that I love music and the sky. I am obsessed with the sky. This sunrise was a great reminder that a new day was on its way and that I had the opportunity to forget what happened the day before and move on with my day. While I was watching the sunrise, the song Hold On by Toby Mac came on the radio and the very first verse says Wake up to the morning light, Wipe away the lonely night, Let a brand new day wash over you. That is exactly what I did. I let the new day and God's presence just wash over me.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
What Love Really Means
Week one of student teaching is done! I am so excited for the next six weeks and for working with the kids in my classes. It is going to be busy no doubt, but I think it will all be worth it in the end. I love the kids I am working with and even though I have questioned if this is really what I want to do with my life, I think it is. My passion for teens was renewed in the past few weeks.
I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love
The love that you never knew
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love
The love that you never knew
I almost cried when I heard the song because it is exactly what I needed to hear. I think that this is what God has called me to do, at least for now. Teaching and doing youth group are my way to love these kids no matter what. This is what they need. They need to know someone cares about them and what is going on. They need someone to talk to. They need someone who is not going to judge them based on their choices and hurts and brokenness. I feel like we are too quick to judge people based on half truths and things that we hear and know, but we don't really get to know people. I want to get to know my students and the teens I work with and just love them for who they are.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Tops, God and Deception
Working at Tops, like many other jobs, comes with lots of stories. I have more stories about working there and the customers that come in than I can count. Many times I work on U-Scan where customers can check their groceries out. It is my responsibility to help those who do not know how to work the machines and to make sure that people are not shoplifting. One of the most common things that I encounter on U-Scan is people who go back to the bulk section, put their candy in a bag, weigh and label it and then add more candy. Or they just mislabel the product altogether so they are getting a cheaper rate. Each of the U-Scan machines has a scale on which the groceries get weighed and the machine then alerts me if the weight is incorrect. The other night, a customer did just this to me. She weighed her dog bones and then added more. I don't say anything to them, I just take the product void it off and reweigh it correctly. But I always wonder the same thing...Do I have stupid written across the top of my forehead?
As I started thinking about this, God asked me how this is any different than what I and many others do to Him. We are dumb humans who constantly try to make ourselves look better than we really are. We think that we can deceive God into thinking that we didn't participate in a certain sin or that we are really better than we are. We are simply sinners in need of Jesus to come and save us and mold us into who He wants us to be. God knows our hearts and our motives. We don't need to hide our hearts from God, He already knows what we think and what we do. Just like I knew that my customer was being dishonest with the weight of the food, God knows when were are being dishonest and only half truthful with Him. He already knows all the secrets of our hearts. There is no need to make ourselves look stupid as we try and hide things from Him.
As I started thinking about this, God asked me how this is any different than what I and many others do to Him. We are dumb humans who constantly try to make ourselves look better than we really are. We think that we can deceive God into thinking that we didn't participate in a certain sin or that we are really better than we are. We are simply sinners in need of Jesus to come and save us and mold us into who He wants us to be. God knows our hearts and our motives. We don't need to hide our hearts from God, He already knows what we think and what we do. Just like I knew that my customer was being dishonest with the weight of the food, God knows when were are being dishonest and only half truthful with Him. He already knows all the secrets of our hearts. There is no need to make ourselves look stupid as we try and hide things from Him.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
New Year's Resolutions
Happy New Year! Along with the new year comes resolutions for what we want to change in the upcoming year. I for one am terrible at keeping them. I set them and keep them maybe for a week and then I break them and give up. This year I only have one resolution that I hope to keep. I want to read my Bible from start to finish. It is something that I have never done. I am 21 and have not finished the Bible in its entirety.
I just returned from chaperoning Joshua Revolution, a three day youth conference. It had worship and speakers to challenge you as well as seminars to help you grow. While my youth were busy getting student training, I had the opportunity to attend youth workers training. I learned a lot and wish I could have attended more. I was able to hear Mark Cahill speak about youth and why they are walking away from their faith when they go to college. I won't get into a lot of detail about that now, maybe later. Mark Cahill focuses on evangelizing and reaching the lost for Jesus. The youth loved him when he spoke at the main session. During the session I attended, he was talking about youth leaders and how it is so important that we be knowledgeable on the scripture and on modern day issues in the church. Youth are not seeing enough Bible teaching in youth group because many youth groups focus on entertaining. We were given a quiz on different speeches given by famous people and we needed to identify what was in contradiction to what the Bible says and then identify a scripture to back it up. Many of us could not do it. This is where my new years resolution comes from. I want to be able to give answers and know what I am talking about, better than I do now. I owe it to the youth I work with and the people that I come into contact with to have this understanding.
I just returned from chaperoning Joshua Revolution, a three day youth conference. It had worship and speakers to challenge you as well as seminars to help you grow. While my youth were busy getting student training, I had the opportunity to attend youth workers training. I learned a lot and wish I could have attended more. I was able to hear Mark Cahill speak about youth and why they are walking away from their faith when they go to college. I won't get into a lot of detail about that now, maybe later. Mark Cahill focuses on evangelizing and reaching the lost for Jesus. The youth loved him when he spoke at the main session. During the session I attended, he was talking about youth leaders and how it is so important that we be knowledgeable on the scripture and on modern day issues in the church. Youth are not seeing enough Bible teaching in youth group because many youth groups focus on entertaining. We were given a quiz on different speeches given by famous people and we needed to identify what was in contradiction to what the Bible says and then identify a scripture to back it up. Many of us could not do it. This is where my new years resolution comes from. I want to be able to give answers and know what I am talking about, better than I do now. I owe it to the youth I work with and the people that I come into contact with to have this understanding.
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