Life after graduation isn't all it's cracked up to be. I am not going to lie, I am going to miss college. Maybe not all the tests or having to go to classes, but I will miss it nonetheless. I know that come fall, I might be wishing that I had a class or two to attend. I am going to miss the late night deep conversations and the roommate sleepovers. I will miss sitting for hours in Garlock talking and having that be the only fun break for the day. I am going to miss always having someone to talk to or do something with. In fact, I already miss all of this. Don't get me wrong I love being home, but it isn't the same. I spent a lot of my first couple years at college wishing that time would go faster and that I could move on with real life and now I am hear and wishing for more time at the place and with the people where I spent four years growing and learning.
Since graduating, I have spent many of my days substitute teaching. I don't mind it, but I can't wait for my own classroom someday soon. I hate having a different schedule everyday and not knowing what is coming next. I like routine and schedule, but with subbing you kind of just have to go with the flow. I guess that is what I am learning right now. Just go with the flow. God has it all under control even when I don't. I don't have to have it all under control for that matter. I am not very good at giving up control. I don't like not know what I will be doing 3 months from now. Right now, there aren't a lot of job perspectives for me and I just want to move on. I know that God has a plan, but really believing that is the key. Knowing that maybe where I am heading is not necessarily what I had planned is scary, but I need to go with the flow and let God guide me in this next season of my life. I know that the place I need to be is right where God will put me. I just need to be open to letting Him have complete control and not question. God tells us not to worry, so I am not going to worry. I am going to trust that He has a plan. His plan is so much bigger and better than any plan that I could ever have. God has continually proven that He will provide for me. He continually brings up the phrase "you of little faith" to my mind. I have to ask myself where am I placing my faith. If I say that I have faith in God, I need to actually be able to let go of everything I am and give it up to God. I need to be willing to say here is my faith God and it is in you, not myself. Let me worry about today and work on glorifying God through everything I do. Let me be a light in the here and now and not worry about tomorrow. Let me trust that God is going to provide everything I could ever need.
Matthew 6:25-34
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
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