Just one of those days...

Do you ever just have one of those days where all you want to do is crawl back to your bed because of how horrible it was?  That pretty much defined my existence last week.  I took over for the special education class that I am teaching and nothing seemed to go right.  The kids do not behave and do not listen.  I am not a mean person and my rules aren't that strict and well that seemed to be a problem.  All week I exhausted myself telling them do this and don't do that.  They were having a hard time adjusting to me and don't think that I am the real teacher.  I was just getting by each day, coming home so emotionally exhausted that I had nothing left to give anyone.  Thursday I hit my breaking point.  My supervisor came to observe me and my students were so bad.  They were up and down, talking over top of me throwing things at each other and my supervisor.  By the end I was so frustrated and when I sat down to talk to my supervisor, I just started crying.  I felt so bad because she thought it was her fault for giving me criticism, but it wasn't.  I liked all of the advice she gave me and am using it now.  I was just exhausted.  On the way home, I heard the song Stronger by Mandisa.  The chorus goes like this... 

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger

This put a smile on my face, because I am being thrown into a classroom to practice everything I have learned over the past 3 and a half years and I am a work in progress.  Each day I am learning new things that are making me stronger as a person and as a teacher.

I was so tired all week that I neglected to spend time with God.  I made excuses that I was just too tired and didn't have enough time.  On the way home I was reminded by the gorgeous sunset that the day was ending and there was nothing I could do to change the day.  I was also reminded on Thursday night that I just needed to take time to rest in God's presence and be renewed.  I am no good to my students when I am completely exhausted.  God is so good and He meets you right where you are at.  Friday morning I got up sort of dreading the school day and having to go in to my class and yell at them but as I was driving to school, I saw the most incredible sunrise.  The sun was bright orange and the sky was green and pink.  I wish that I had taken pictures so you could see.  God knows me well.  He knows that I love music and the sky.  I am obsessed with the sky.  This sunrise was a great reminder that a new day was on its way and that I had the opportunity to forget what happened the day before and move on with my day.  While I was watching the sunrise, the song Hold On by Toby Mac came on the radio and the very first verse says Wake up to the morning light, Wipe away the lonely night, Let a brand new day wash over you.  That is exactly what I did.  I let the new day and God's presence just wash over me.