Love and Grace

Today I find myself thinking back to an earlier blog that I wrote while I was student teaching.  It was one about loving my students and the teens that I come into contact with on a daily basis.  It was based on the song "Love Me for Me" by JJ Heller.  I was reminded of it this week while I was teaching.  I have been praying that God would give me extra little opportunities that I wouldn't miss to get to know my students.  That I would be given little insights into their lives by just listening and observing.  It is honestly hard to do with 75 students and having to teach all day long.  I try and incorporate it a little into my lessons, but it is still harder to get to know my quieter students.  I had a pretty good week with my kids and after having a break from them I have come back to school ready for the next few weeks.  I realized that I am falling in love with them all or at least most of them.  Many of them have an ability to brighten my day even if it is going terrible.
With that being said, God broke my heart once again for my students.  I, like many people, have the ability to put on my blinders and see what I want to see.  I see the kids who are always happy.  I notice the outspoken kids.  I get annoyed with the annoying ones.  I don't always see past the surface because I feel like I don't have the time.  Yesterday, I was reminded of the importance of taking time to listen.  Taking time to notice the student in the corner having a bad day.  My eyes were opened to a generation of hurting kids.  Hurting kids that come in all shapes and sizes.  Kids who have to worry about adult problems.  Kids who are faced with all sorts of heartache.  Kids coming from homes that give no attention to them.  Kids being taught that it is okay to bully probably because they are bullied at home.  Kids who think that it is okay to call someone a name and be rude if that is what it takes to make yourself feel good.  But it isn't okay. 
Every Friday we have class meetings with our kids on bullying.  Yesterday I played the song Hero by Superchick for all of my kids.  The chorus reads:

You could be a hero - heroes do what's right
You could be a hero - you might save a life
You could be a hero- you could join the fight
For what's right, for what's right, for what's right
 At first, I was angry with them because they did not take it seriously.  They giggled all through the song and make jokes about serious comments other kids were making. They still think that bullying is a big joke and that their actions do not affect people, but I know that they are kids.  Many of them who have known nothing else for their entire lives. Yesterday I saw the walls of two of my kids come down.  They let me inside and decided to be vulnerable.  I do not take that for granted.  That is why I teach.  Even if I have a week of terrible classes, I teach because I want kids to know that they are loved and cared for.  I gave my students a challenge yesterday and many of them think that it is impossible to complete.  I challenged them to complete random acts of kindness for people and to hang out with kids who are different from them.  To hang out with kids they wouldn't normally hang out with.  As I was praying this morning, I realized that I cannot expect them to do something, unless I am also willing to take part.  Two of my New Year's Resolutions for this year were to work on loving with all that I am even if it hurts and to give grace radically.  I want that to start in my classroom.  I want to love each and every one of my students even if it means loving the student who annoys me.  I want to show them what it means to love.  I am going to love them for who they are.  I am going ot make a conscious effort to be the best role model I can for them because for many, that is the only place they will see it.  So far I am off to a pretty good start, but you can pray for me as I do, because I know that it is not going to be easy especially on the days when I am ready to just leave my classroom.